Adafruit 9-DOF Orientation IMU Fusion Breakout - BNO085 (BNO080)

Here it is, the motion sensor you were looking for: the one that just gives you the directly usable information without requiring you to first consult with a PhD to learn the arcane arts of Sensor Fusion. The BNO085 takes the life's work of multiple people who have spent their entire career focused on how to get useful information from direct motion sensor measurements and then squeezes that information down into a 5.2x3.8mm box, along with the sensors to go along with it.